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meowcat posted on 28 June 2009, 21:51

hi,
My partner already has 2 children from his past relationship. this ended 10 years ago and the children do not live with us.

During this relationship he had a vasectomy in 1998, then it ended and he had a reversal in 2001. The tests afterwards showed it was sucessful with 65 million sperm.

we have been together 5 and a half years and have been trying for a baby for over 12 months.

with nothing happening, my partner has sperm analysis tests done and these came nack as showing no sperm. At some point the reversal has failed.

Both operations were done on the NHS.

We have been referred to St Marys Fertility clinic. I have read so many articles about IVF/ICSI where couples are not eligible if one partner already has children.

I returned to my doctor ans she had not heard of this.

I feel worrid and confused. If the NHS can't help we can't afford private. Thanks

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jane Horne posted on 2 July 2009, 08:55

Dear Meowcat

Have just seen your post, when I first went to see my GP about eligibility for NHS IVF I was sent a letter containing the following, sorry it is not the information you would like to see :-(

"the female partner must be under 40 at the time of treatment"

" treatment will only be funded to those couples where neither partner in the couple has a living child from their relationship or any previous relationship"

"the treatment will only be available where the subfertility is not the result of a sterilisation procedure in either partner"

Good luck and take care

Jane x

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meowcat posted on 3 July 2009, 11:28

What area was that in? thanks

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tracey140967 posted on 5 July 2009, 21:20

Hi Meowcat,

Sorry to hear of your situation.Me and hubby were told if we had children or were over 35 we could not get NHS help,the NHS help allso depends on your post code.so we have had to pay for treatment,2 fresh failed cycles and 1 failed fet cycle.It is disscusting how they decide on how NHS help is funded.

Traceyx

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jane Horne posted on 6 July 2009, 23:46

Hi

sorry for the delay have been away for the weekend.
My GP is based in Surrey GU15 post code area

Good luck

Jane x

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sooty30 posted on 15 October 2009, 15:43

Hi not sure if you are stil reading this thread bur if so where abouts do you live?
I was under the impression as of april this year quite alot changed in the South east area.If you are under 39 you are entiltled and also in our area if you are a childless couple within the relasionship then you are also entilited to up to 3 free cycles.
Not sure if all areas are he same.
I would do some enquiring hun as it's not your fault your partner has kids and you only want what the rest of us want xx

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sophie72 posted on 19 October 2009, 15:08

Hi Meowcat,

just to add another couple of uk area to the list. It is a real post code lottery here. We were still living in Wales when we found out from our GP that we will have to do ICSI. My DH has a lovely girl from another relationship who is now 12 years old but does not live with us. We were told by the GP that we were not elegible for NHS treatment because of to that. He did however refer DH to a fertility specialist for further investigation and he finally got an appointment after nearly a year only to find out that we ARE elegible for one fresh and one frozen cycle if the child does not live with us! But we had to go on the waiting list which was another year to wait.
In the meantime we had looked around for private clinics. We also checked out the Southampton area and were told by the Wessex Fertility Unit that couples in our situation who live there are not elegible . So, make sure the GP you ask knows what he is talking about or I would probably ring a Fertility clinic in your area to be sure that the advice you get is right!

Sophie xx

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bella rose posted on 27 October 2009, 13:05

hi meowcat,

i don't know if you are still reading this but here's what we were told.

we are in the southeast of england, in kent. woman has to be between 23 and 39 years, both of you have to not have any children from any relationship, and subfertility has to not be result of sterilisation. we were told allowed one go but in april this changed to one fresh go and 1 frozen go. it really is a postcode lottery and it stinks! oh yes and the info from our pct says waiting time 0 months! but we got sperm diagnosis last september (2008) and got first ivf this september (2009)! i suppose if you are being picky you could say that is 0 months as it's 1 year! but they were very misleading. also, it's very hard to find on pct website exactly what the entitlements are so good luck looking.

love bella

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dl3358 posted on 10 April 2010, 20:21

I am so worried about nhs fertility treatment, we can not currently afford private treatment and my partner has a little girl who has not lived with her mum since she was four and has lived with us since she was 6. I love this little girl, but missed out on her first 6 yrs and have not had a baby myself. Im so worried that because im doing the right thing and bringing up a child whose mother has no interest in her, we wont be eligerable for treatment in essex. I do not think its fair that I should not be able to have medical treatment for infertility because im bringing up someonel elses child. Information on the criteria varies and im not sure what tobelieve. The child mother rarley sees her but makes everything as diff as possible for us and wont give us parental responsilbility. So we cant even sign for medical treatment for this child yet, I can not adopt her and have no rights yet we are scared we are not going to be classed as a childless couple. Why does everything have to be so complicated, is there anyone else out there in my position?

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rose1979 posted on 27 April 2010, 20:58

hello everyone, i'm sorry when i read these stories, i'm new to all this me and my husband have been trying for a baby for 3 years with no luck. we've found out he's got a zero sperm count,caused by a blockage in his tubes, he's due to have an opperation to get them unblocked,but there is a 1 in 4 chances of this working,if it does fail then we go down the ivf route.
we also have another problem my hubby has a 7 year old little girl with his ex,but she doesn't live with us.there is a big chance that my hubby was born with this blockage and if thats the case his daughter isn't his but i don't know anything at the moment soooooooo much is going on,and i can't get my head round it.
i feel resentment towards his daughter which i don't want to feel but in my head she's either a miracle baby and he and his ex will have a bond we will never have,also i could never imagine what he's going through,and i never want to find out,but i feel this has taken over me and him having a baby,he talks about that rather than us having children. i know this is very selfish but i feel i'm doing this all alone and i can't tell him my true feelings.

i'm so sorry to everyone your the only people i can off load on to. good luck to each and everyone of you..

j. xxxxxxx

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keara posted on 27 May 2010, 13:07

hi all am a newbie i had good news yesterday that i can start my ivf treatment on the 17th after waiting 4 years.

but now have just found out that because my partner has 2 children from his previous relationship i cant have my treatment now am so gutted words can not even describe.

i now feel completely lost and have no idea where to go from here.

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