At our 12 week scan yesterday there was no heartbeat and our precious baby had died over the past couple of days. Totally unrelated to the bleeding and subchorionic hematoma that I had been struggling with (which had all cleared up judging by the scan - typical.)

So, instead of telling the world about our miracle, we spent yesterday weighing up the options - wait to miscarry naturally, or go for the D&C. Our IVF clinic can't do the procedure and there was no-one available at the hospital yesterday to talk to so I'm going to pop down this morning and see what I can do.

Meanwhile, just wanted to know if anyone had any advice as to what to do next? I had a natural miscarriage 3 years ago, at 9 weeks, which was 3 days of pure torture. But it happened straight away. This time as there are no signs yet of it happening, the doctor says that we could wait 2-3 weeks to miscarry. I don't know if I have the strength to carry on with life, work, Christmas, etc. with that hanging over me, knowing what is coming. And I am terrified that I will start to miscarry in public, at work, in the mall, etc.

D&C would help give some closure, and would mean that I could get back to work (I am stressing almost more about the pile of work on my desk / impending deadlines than I am about the miscarriage at the moment). But I know there are risks, especially for women like me with endometriosis.

Any advice / past experience would be helpful. What would you do?

Thank you.

MellieC
xxx

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Hello Mellie,

Whatever you do it won't be easy but you need to work out what is best for you as everyone is different. Some people had a D&C and get it all finished quickly and other people prefer to wait and go through the whole thing naturally.

I would advice you to pop to the hospital and talk to a doctor.

You must be feeling very sad at the moment and I can relate to that so take it easy

wish you all the best for the future.

Big hug

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Hi MelliC

I can sympathise with what you are going through, i lost my little miricle at 9 weeks, very hard and knowone can understand what you are going through.

I had the same decision to go through to, but i decided to wait a week to see if my body would do it naturally, and if it didn't then i would opt for a D&C.

It did happen naturally and altough it wasn't plesant it felt more natural than having the procedure to have it removed.

You have to do what is best for you and what will be less distressing for you.

I thought it was the end of my world to, but life does go on and you will get through this, i did and im sure you can to.

Hugs Laura x

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Hi Mellie

I am sorry you have this awful decision. I have had a frew losses and have experience of both. Earlier this year I had an unfortunate termination of pregnancy at 12 weeks and had a D and C procedure at 12 week 5 days. It went as well as expected and I had a fast recovery home in a few hours from the day clinic. I had minimal bleeding and felt very well. I think as long as your pregnancy does not exceed 14 weeks, they are happy to do an D and C, after that it can be more risky. That was my 2nd D and C and I got pregnant very fast after my 1st one in 2003. Good luck with your awful decision. My heart goes out to you XX

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