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Author Failed even before I started?!
lklondon posted on 20 August 2011, 22:54

Hi rb London

So sorry to hr about yr cancelled cycle! You must b so frustrated! Was it yr first cycle and which clinic are you at? It just makes me wonder how any one ever has success through this process as there seems to be so many things that can go wrong! Things that I didn't even know about! I thought once u started, the clinic gave you fsh through the injections so yr natural levels were not as important? I also thought amh was more important when it comes to the quality of yr eggs rather than fsh!? What do I know hey? I think you are right to remain positive which I am also trying to do, but clearly with caution as there seems to be more hurdles in this process than I had ever thought there would be!
So what happens now with you? Will you wait and try again next month? Will you stay with the same clinic or get a second opinion?
I wish you ever luck if you do and fingers crossed mother nature decides to play fair for you next time!
Best of luck?

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Ollie posted on 21 August 2011, 23:07

Hello lovely ladies, this is 'joejoe' but my laptop crashed 2 weeks ago when I suddenly disappeared and my laptop is still away being fixed so I have stolen hubby's laptop this evening to message you all :-) My username has changed because I had to register as a new user because all my passwords were saved on my computer and they are all gone and I don't remember what it was for this site and I can't change it! Hey ho..... here I am!!!! I have MISSED YOU ALL so much, ha ha. I even asked a girl I chat to on another thread on here and on the book of faces, to message you for me so you knew I was still thinking of you all. I have been able to read all your posts but was just not able to comment which has been so frustrating. I have no idea when I will get my laptop either and hubby uses this one for work so I am stuck just with the internet on my mobile which is not great! But hubby has a week off so he brought this laptop home, yay.

So where on earth was I when I disappered???? I didn't have the smear test in the end! I did go to the appointment but the silly receptionist had booked me in for the following Monday by mistake and noone was available to do it but my AF arrived the following week so I am going to have it done in the morning tomorrow now!

I managed to get some Clomid on prescription after requesting it from Mr McVeigh - the Medical Director at the OFU. He has been on holiday for the past few weeks and isn't back til September!! I called the OFU on cycle day 1 to ask their thoughts on whether I should have another go at an FET or do the Clomid. They tried to get me to not do either until after the hysteroscopy but I said I wanted to do 'something!'. So I started the Clomid which I had to take from cycle day 2 - 6 so I took the last one today. Apparently I will ovulate 5 - 10 days after the last pill and I have a scan at the OFU this Wed to see how many follicles are growing and what my lining and hormones are like. They said they wanted to monitor me since I have never used Clomid before. I asked if I could have an FET on a Clomid cycle and they said they will see how things look and play it by ear. They said if I have too many follicles they will advise against unprotected sex if it is a non FET cycle due to the risk of multiples but I will try regardless as the chances of twins are only 5-10% anyway and less than 0.5% for triplets! I am so hoping the Clomid does the trick and I get pregnant with a pregnancy that sticks this time! But since my body never responds to drugs the way it should I wont hold my breath!

I got the Medical Director's PA on side and also found out who the theatre booking ladies were at the John Radcliffe and got them on side too so they knew I wanted to be seen asap and could be available at short notice. I chased up my GP until they did my referral letter which I went and collected and sent to the PA and she did the booking form for me. The 12 week waiting list I was originally told was reduced pretty drastically cos my appointment is on Sept 15th!!! Just shows you need to push your case to be seen!!!

After my last miscarriage my GP referred me back to the gynae unit at Stoke Mandeville for a follow up with them and that is on Sept 14th so I am hoping something good will come out of all these appointments etc. But better still I would like to get pregnant on this cycle!! If the Clomid works I will get AF or a BFP 2 days before the hysteroscopy and can cancel if need be but if the Clomid doesn't work I will ovulate later and my AF wont be due til after the hysteroscopy and then we wont be able to try to conceive this month cos it will be too early to get a BFP on a hpt before the op. So fingers crossed the Clomid works!!!!!!

So I think that is where I am at all things fertility wise!!! I am using 6g a day of L-Arginine again this month from cycle day 3 until ovulation to try to boost my lining thickness and also started taking a baby aspirin a day from cycle day 1. All self medicated but got to try!!

We did a free day trial at the gym this week and oh boy did we ache for days afterwards, ha ha. A good ache mind but we certainly knew we had been pushing weights!!! And what with no computer I have not been able to do any work which sounds good but really isn't for the bank account!

Have met 3 of my friends new babies this weekend, Charlie is 8 months now, Stan is 8 weeks and Flynn is 6 weeks! So I have had tons of cuddles with them all. And this bank holiday we will see Stan again and his big sister Keeva who is adorable and 2 years old, as we are staying in a cottage in Wiltshire for 4 days over bank holiday with them. The cottage is owned by the Owner of Jigsaw fashion stores and my mate works in one of the stores and gets to use the cottage as a staff perk so there will be about 8 of us plus kids! Should be fun.

Well I have been chatting for long enough. Look forward to hearing all about what you guys have been up to. xxx

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lklondon posted on 22 August 2011, 13:20

Morning all

Hope you guys are all well! How were yr weekends?

JoeJoe….wow, its SOO good to hear from you hunny! I think I speak for all the others when I say, we have really missed you! My overactive imagination has been running riot in my head, particularly as you fell off the radar on the day of yr smear! Thank the lord it was laptop issues and nothing else!

So it sounds like you have been a lady with a plan (just like Vics!) I’m surprised yr clinic didn’t try you on clomid first either for natural fert or an iui? I’ve done 2 rounds with iui? But had a BFN both times. Let me know how you get on with it. I was fine on it, had 2 mid sized follicles the first time and one huge one the second..fingers crossed for you!

How are you Vics? How was the wedding? I hope you had a good weekend? Also, were you able to re-brief the lister re yr appointment? And have you had yr notes back from the OFU?

Poppy, how are you my love? Havent heard from you in a couple of days? Are you okay? I hope you havent been going on ‘that’ site? I did on Sat like a fool and read a status update from a friend saying that ‘she really wanted a glass of wine…sob!’ she is clearly preg as all the replies suggested this. She hasn’t told me as we both started TTC at the same time, and knows we are having issues. She’s 38 drinks like a fish, has had 2 abortions, yet conceived straight away! She miscarried, so she’s had the last 6 months off and started trying again and has clearly conceived again and is moaning that she wants wine!...A-hole! I would never moan about booze or anything if I was lucky to conceived!

I’m okay, still sniffing away! I booked my first scan in for Weds which is when we are hoping to start stims. I feel very apprehensive about it as there are so many things that go wrong and everytime I go online, I read about something else that can go wrong!..the odds are so against it working. I think part of me is telling myslef this pschologically to stpp myself from getting excited as I know I will be massively crushed when it doesn’t work. I was deveastated when our 2nd iui failed as I had soooo convinced myself it had worked. The conditions for the iui was as good as they can ever get, Dr Taranissi performed the procedure with his god like hands (the 1st one done by a different dr was awful) and my stupid brain and body tricked myslef into thinking it had worked! So I was so heart broken when it failed. I know it will be worse with the ivf, so I’m just tempering any excitement!

Anyhoo, I hope you guys are all okay, let me know!

Lots and lots of love
xxx

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Vics11 posted on 22 August 2011, 13:45

Hi all

JoeJoe - welcome back. it is really good to hear from you and we are glad you are ok - LK is right - we did miss you. Really pleased you have a date for your op and that you have the chlomid - hoping it does the trick. I heard that asprin can really help too. I had to not try the month i had mine, which was gutting at first, but then was oddly ok as there was no pressure or wondering that month for the first time in a long time.

LK - hope you are ok love, there are so many of my mates who got pregnant and their babies are 3 years old - whilst we are still trying - so unfair. No news on my notes yet - think i am waiting for the head honcho to come back like Joe Joe. Am going to ring The Lister tomorrow to confirm my appointment stuff.

Poppy hope you are ok?

I had a nice time at the weekend. Had a bit of a wobble Saturday night as it was another milestone that I thought I would be pregnant for, but managed to hold it together. Had a few too many so still feeling rather rough - won't be doing that again for a while ;-)

I am having a bit of a panic about the money side of things if we do egg donor - £20k is just rediculous - plus flights to the States are about a grand - yikes!

Am counting down the time today untili can go and lie under the duvet

xxx

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Vics11 posted on 22 August 2011, 13:46

Oops - also meant to say hi RB London - we feel your pain and we are here if you want to talk about it

xxx

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lklondon posted on 22 August 2011, 16:18

Hey all again

I just saw yr message Vics and wanted to dive on quickly….if you do take aspirin, it needs to be baby (how ironic) aspirin which is basically a lower dose – 75mg. I had to take it after my iui’s as its meant help thin the blood which apparently helps with implantation. I’m surprised yr clinic didn’t tell you to take it after yr ivf?.
Sorry you had a wobble at the weekend! Poor you…big hugs!! I so know what you mean about landmarks when you think you would be pg? I had my life mapped out when we first started ttc. Basically, I left the job I was in when we started to take a job in the public sector (because of the amazing benefits perfect for having a baby) but paid a lot less. I figured it would take me 3 mnths to get pg after which I was going to leave the department after maternity!..HA!...instead, I’ve ended up having to go back into the private sector after 18mths of TTC as I didn’t make enough money to save any for IVF. I also thought I would be pg for xmas last yr and at worst for DH’s sisters wedding which is next week!
So now the only planning I do is for the worst case scenario – which is spain!..

Hunny, you have a plan, so you just need to figure out how to get there. Would you not think about Spain as the flights will cost a lot less. I worked out if you did the States with 2 visits per ivf session for 6, you would need at least another £13 -15k to funded travel and accommodation for both you and DH…so total bill would be around £35K!!...whereas Spain, total cost for 3 go’s with a 70% money back guarantee is £18k plus flights etc, so another £1,500 ish…total £19,500ish…Its still a lot of cash of course, but a truck load less than the US option? When do you speak to Spain?

I hope you feel okay, I hate the morning after a hangover, it always makes me feel suicidal!!!...that’s the best thing about being on wagon as I always used to get so upset about it all after a few drinks!

Lots of love

xxx

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Poppy203 posted on 22 August 2011, 18:24

Hi Girls,

How are you all? Sounds like you ve all ahd a good weekend ans Welcome back joejoe.Lovely to hear from you. The girls are right we did all miss you,I even told my hubby we were all conecerned bout you.Sorry i think i ve missed something. What is a Hysteroscopy? Hope the Clomid does the trick. I had it too when i was having iuis but like Lk didn t have any luck but you never know.Your weekend away sounds relly good. Hope you get good weather.

Hi Lk,How are you doing? Hope Wed goes well and that you get to start your stims. You sound just like me with the whole iui situation. Both hubby and i were so exited and convinced ourselves i was pregnant. The first one was looking really good until i got the blood test result and told i didn t ovalate. I was so upset i had to come home form work as was told result over the phone. The next month took the clomid again and this time took a couple of weeks off work with stress to try and give me the best chance as i do worry alot at work,but when i went for the scan i d made too many follicules so treatment was cancelled. Again i was devestated.Next month i was having it without clomid and was given a injection to make me realease the egg. This time we were relally positive. Yet again faliure and more tears so know exactly how it feels.Think its good to be positive but to be aware of what can go wrong too but i know from my experienceso far that even when ithink i ve prepared myself for the worst when it happens i am still totally gutted. Hope your not stressing too much bout Dhs family. Think they are being very unsupportive and that while your having treatment your right to keep away from them as much as you can.

Vics, that is alot of money.I know for us even funding a ivf cycle would be a big struggle and would have to go on credit.Have you totally ruled out having another go at ivf then?

Rblondon,Know exactly how disappointing all this is. What are you doing now? Are you trying for next month?

Anyway haven t told you whats happening with me. Not alot to tell really at the moment.Had a fairly quiet weekend but did go to cinema to see inbetweeners the movvie which was really good.I had to go for my blood tests today as its day 4 of my af.I m a bit nervous bout it cause thats when it all went wrong last time but if i get to my appointment on 16th with no phonecall i know its all going ahead. don t think they ll do what the other clinic done but you never know so fingers crossed for no phonecalls.

Anyway enjoy your evening and speak soon xxxx

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Poppy203 posted on 22 August 2011, 18:27

Meant to say Lk i have still been going on that site and theres people talking bout babies all the time but can t help being nosey.If i get down again i will come off it fro a while. Also meant to say that is so annoying bout that girl whining bout wanting a drink. She should think herself lucky shes pregnant. That really P.... me off when people do that and i get so cross when i see pregnant ladies smoking. That my rant for the day done lol xxx

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Ollie posted on 22 August 2011, 20:07

Hi Ladies, Nice to be back, lol. Gonna make the most of having access to hubby's laptop whilst he has the week off work :-)

I had my smear test today. She said the results will come through in 2 weeks, maybe slightly more because of the bank holiday. Fingers crossed everything is normal. Also did another workout today at the gym on my 5 day free trial pass so one day left before we have to pay if we want to keep going.

I finally gave up a very hard job in May which saw me working pretty much every single weekend and long long days on my feet and endured all my miscarriages with no time off so I left to allow me time out from all the stress and to set up on my own so I could be flexible around the IVF. But now I have an interview tomorrow. It's a temp job for a retailer assisting their HR team with recruitment for the stores. They want someone with a retail and retail recruitment background - that'll be me then, lol. I will still keep my own recruitment business going cos this is just a temp job but if I get it I will atleast be able to get a regular income to help pay for my big holiday in Aus at the end of the year. Wish me luck. Though I can't start til Aug 31st so I hope that is cool with them. You wait, I will get this job and then discover they say I am ready to have my frosties put back or something when I am meant to start the temp job, sods law! ha ha. Mind you that is prob wishful thinking! lol. No idea how many other people they are interviewing either. What will be will be.

I never tried iui because hubby has low sperm motility and they thought IVF would be more successful so we went straight into that. Which I suppose it was as far as the fact we did get pregnant both times we had transfer even if they didn't last!! This Clomid cycle is not an iui one. I am just trying it to see if it has any effect on my ovulation because it can take me anything from cd16 - cd26 to ovulate which is clearly too long! My luteal phase is fine though but I end up with a 30 - 44 day cycle. If the Clomid works it will hopefully give me a 28 day cycle this month! And even if I do get multiple follicles they can't cancel my cycle because I am ttc naturally anyway! They will advise me not to try if there are too many follicles but I will try anyway! Ha ha. Have to see what the scan shows on Wed. Seems Wed is a big day for a few of us and the week commencing 13th Sept is also a big week for this thread. If the Clomid hasn't worked I wont be able to try this month cos it'll be too soon to the hysteroscopy so again, have to play it by ear.

A hysteroscopy is an operation to insert a camera into the uterus via the cervix to check and make sure the inside of the womb is all fine. I have had a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) where they inject dye into you to check your tubes are not blocked and your uterus looks ok and that was all normal so I don't expect them to find anything but it will rule it out for definite.

As you all have said, so many things can go wrong with fertility treatments. When I started my first IVF it all went to plan and the EC and ET all happened exactly as predicted, how lucky was I?! The 2nd time things I hadn't even considered might go wrong, did go wrong like a cyst that needed aspirating and then it was a lining that wouldn't thicken up and drugs that didn't work!!! Next I will be all set for transfer at last and the frosties won't survive!!! OMG I shouldn't say that, don't want to tempt fate!!! But like you girls, I always have a plan for if the cycle doesn't go to plan rather than one for when it does! Survival mode!

Oh please Clomid, please work!! I have had such a bad headache since I started the Clomid and hot flushes! My bbt is all over the place too. But other than that I feel fine thankfully.

I cannot believe how expensive the donor cycles are!!!! Ridiculously so! Why is that??? Look up 'how to improve egg quality' and make sure you def do have to use a donor egg cos you really can improve egg quality. It takes 120 days for an egg to be ready to be fertilised and in that time you can have a big impact on your eggs so make sure you have looked into every last option of using your own eggs before you commit to a donor cycle.

Vics, Mr McVeigh is not back til some time in Sept so you have a bit of a wait til he responds. Contact Annie Lower his PA if you want help, she is lovely. I discovered her after I sent my letter and she has been so helpful.

I am trying to keep up with where you are all at since I have been away so can we do a little timeline to help me out please:

LK - Scan at ARGC on 24th Aug - start stimms (fingers crossed)
Vics - AF arrived on 20th Aug
Poppy - cd4 - appointment on 16th Sept
RB - Scan on 19th Aug - FSH high - cancelled cycle
Joe - Scan at OFU on 24th Aug - Clomid natural cycle

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lklondon posted on 23 August 2011, 11:38

Morning all

hope you guys are havin a good weekend - despite the rubbish weather!!

I've just had a really fun morning, we were brainstorming ideas to support Walls (the sausages) using Alan the talking dog in a ring box! Not sure if you have seen the ads, they are really funny!...it was a really good session until we started talking about ideas for when the clocks go back and winter!....it feels like blummin winter today!...I hate winter, its soooo depressing and last winter was the worst as that's when we started our fertility treatment (in Oct) after TTC for a yr before!

Its good to hr from you Poppy! I know what you mean about being nosey on that site! Im the same, so have had to delete people as a way of dealing with my noseyness. I've deleted my friend who moaned about wine! I'm sure she will notice, but honestly i dont care and its clear she isnt looking out for my feelings either!...if you dont want to delete, try hiding?...so how long do you have to wait to know if you are in the clear to start yr treatment? I'm praying you dont get a phone call, so can just spend the next month or so preparing and 'relaxing' if that is at all possible?

Joejoe, good luck with yr interview! I hope you get it...hopefully this will be the trigger that gets everything else moving (ie you conceive naturally with the clomid or you become ready for yr frosties)...it will help keep you busy if nothing else and there's nothing worse than having lots of free time and letting yr mind wonder! I do that which is why I end up winding myself up all the time!

How are you Vics? hope you have recovered from the booze blues and are starting to feel normal again - sure the weather wont help much, but at least it isnt Monday hey!..have you spoken to the lister today? and when is yr call with Spain?

So I'm booked in tomorrow for my first scan, Joejoe, I'm with the lister now, I was lucky to get a cancellation appointment (as I was stressing about the ARGC not treating me again this month) so we went and got a 2nd opinion at the lister who started us straight away. I;m trying not to think about it as I'm convinced its not going to work, so dont want to become even more negative about it by winding myself up...besides, who knows, the lister may also say the same as the ARGC and not treat me?...

I had a paddy at DH last night, I asked him over a week ago to into looking into flying back on the Sat after his sisters wedding and he hadnt done it!...if we start tomorrow, his sisters wedding (well its not the wedding as she's married already, its the reception - in switzerland!!!!) is v close to EC...if I am stimulated for 14 days (as the clinic suggests) we will be fine, and he can fly back on the Sun as planned...but what if its shorter?...how long were you guys each stimulated for?? its making me panic as we cant risk the treatment, but I have promised his family that he will be there!....arghhhh, if only it wasnt in Switzerland!....actually, that would have been fine, if it wasnt a 5 hr train ride from the airport!.. were all you guys stimulated for 14 days?....

Anyhoo, I hope you guys are all okay..

I think the summary below is a really good idea Joejoe, I have updated mine...

xxxxxxxxxxx


LK - Scan at LISTER on 24th Aug - start stimms (fingers crossed)
Vics - AF arrived on 20th Aug
Poppy - cd4 - appointment on 16th Sept
RB - Scan on 19th Aug - FSH high - cancelled cycle
Joe - Scan at OFU on 24th Aug - Clomid natural cycle

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